Blooming Mindset

Welcome to the Blooming Mindset, a weekly dose of clarity, mindset, and practical wisdom to help you stay consistent, think more deeply, and build a life aligned with your identity and purpose. I’m ​Ruth Rieckehoff​, and I’m so glad you’re here. ​Please share this newsletter with a friend!​

Beloved Architect of Identity,

There was a time in my career when I thought the secret to success was saying yes.

Yes, I’ll help.
Yes, I’ll take that on.
Yes, I’ll stay late.
Yes, yes, yes.

I was like a Swiss army knife with legs: always available, always doing, constantly proving.

Need someone to run the numbers? Done.
Need chairs set up for the company event? I got it.
Need help training the new hire? Of course.

I kept thinking that if I just kept being useful, someone would notice. Someone will reward it.

But instead of getting promoted…
I got exhausted.
I got labeled “unreasonable” for asking for a raise.
I got told there wasn’t enough budget, even though I was doing the job and the extras.

You know what’s wild?
When I finally resigned…
All the things I’d been asking for, title, salary, and resources, were offered to me within two hours.

Not because I had changed.

But because they realized the hole I’d leave behind.

Here’s the kicker:
The value they were trying to keep wasn’t in the extra tasks.
It was in my core skill, what I do better than anyone else.
It was the data. The insight. The precision.
Not the chairs. Not the catering. Not the chaos.

I’d been trying to prove my worth by doing more.
But all I really needed to do was own my lane and do it well.

So I made a choice.
No more people-pleasing.
No more being everyone’s backup plan.
No more begging to be seen.

I doubled down on what I do best.
I started speaking up.
I started asking better questions.
I started leading, not by doing more, but by doing what actually mattered.

And slowly, things changed.
I stopped being the helper.
I became the expert.
And respect followed.

So let me ask you something…

Are you working yourself to the bone trying to be everything to everyone?

Or are you focused on what only you can do?

Because here’s what I learned the hard way:

The more you dilute your power, the harder it is for others to see it.

So here’s your permission slip:
Drop the extras.
Own your expertise.
Let your real value shine.

Until next week! Keep blooming!

Ruth

Reflect

1. Are you overcommitting to prove your worth, or focusing on the work only you can do?
   ​
2. What’s one responsibility you’ve taken on that may be distracting you from your real value?

Reframe

Old belief: The more I say yes, the more valuable I become.
​New belief: The more I focus my energy, the more visible and valuable I become.

You don’t get respect by doing everything.
You get respect by doing your thing well and knowing when to say no.

Actionable Transformation

1. Audit your tasks this week.
   ​ Highlight what actually leverages your strengths vs. what drains you or could be delegated.
2. Practice saying no without apology.
   ​ Try this: “That’s outside my current priorities, but I’m happy to support by sharing resources or referring someone.”
3. Create a ‘zone of genius’ plan.
   ​ Define the 2–3 problems you solve best. Ensure your time, visibility, and growth align in that direction.

P.S. If this story resonates with you, I share more lessons like this on X, offering honest talk about identity, purpose, and doing work that truly matters. Join the conversation: Follow me on X.