Welcome to the Blooming Mindset. I’m Ruth Rieckehoff, and I’m so glad you’re here. Some of my emails include affiliate links. If you choose to purchase, I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you. I only share what I’ve personally used, trusted, and found meaningful enough to pass along.
Beloved Architect of Identity,
The biggest lie we tell ourselves isn’t to other people. It’s the one we repeat in our own heads.
“I want to change.” I’ve started to believe those four words are some of the easiest words in the English language to say.
The other day, I was talking with a dear friend.
People keep telling her she should move somewhere with better jobs, lower costs, and a higher quality of life. On paper, they’re probably right.
But she quietly said something I almost never hear.
“I don’t want to.”
She told me that, as a single woman in her mid-forties with a back condition, she has no desire to start over. Her life isn’t perfect. But she’s learned how to live with it.
And here’s what struck me.
She wasn’t looking for someone to convince her otherwise, or pretending she wanted a different life, or asking permission.
She had simply made peace with her decision.
Ironically, I found that refreshing.
Not because I agree with every decision she made. I’ve made the opposite choice.
After twenty-three years in California, I packed everything I owned and moved across the country. Around the same time, friends in their seventies moved to Mexico.
I know change can be beautiful. I also know it can ask more from you than people admit.
But that’s not what stayed with me after our conversation.
What stayed with me was how rarely we tell ourselves the truth.
We live in a culture that celebrates change. Be adaptable. Be flexible. Keep growing. Keep reinventing yourself.
Somewhere along the way, we started believing that saying we want change is the same as pursuing it. It isn’t.
Because change is not purely about desire and intention. It involves behavior and outcomes.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized there are really four places we can live.
Sometimes we want change, and our actions follow. Sometimes we don’t want change, and we’re honest enough to admit it.
Sometimes we don’t feel ready, but we change our behavior anyway, and discover a life we never expected.
But the hardest place to live is the fourth one. We say we want change. We tell our friends we want change. We even convince ourselves we want change.
Then we fiercely protect every habit, routine, and comfort that guarantees tomorrow will look exactly like yesterday.
I’ve done that. Maybe you have too.
That’s why this isn’t really an email about changing your life. It’s an email about telling yourself the truth.
Because once you’re honest, every option becomes a good one. Stay. Leave. Build. Quit. Start over. Wait another year.
None of those choices are inherently right or wrong. Just don’t spend years chasing a future your actions have already rejected.
If this isn’t your season, own it without guilt. If it is your season, stop negotiating with the behaviors that keep you where you are.
Your life is already voting. Every day.
Your actions have been casting the ballot long before your words ever did.
Until next time, keep blooming,
Ruth
Reflect
- Where am I saying I want change while continuing to protect the habits that keep me where I am?
- What goal have I been carrying simply because I feel like I should want it?
Reframe
Old belief: “Changing my mind means I failed.”
New belief: “Being honest about what I truly want is a sign of maturity, not defeat.”
Actionable Transformation
- Pick one goal you’ve talked about for months. Write down the behaviors it actually requires. Then honestly ask yourself if you’re willing to do them.
- If the answer is no, give yourself permission to let that goal go, for now. Stop carrying expectations that don’t belong to this season.
- Choose one goal that genuinely matters to you and align one daily action with it this week. Small actions build honest lives.
Resources
- If you want a simple way to turn reflection into direction (without spiraling into more options), my Reflection to Revenue method helps you extract what matters and act on it, without the overwhelm.
- If your content feels scattered, your offer isn’t clear yet. The Blooming Offer Guide helps you turn one aligned offer into a focused content engine that actually sells.
P.S. One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is that “not now” is a perfectly valid answer. It’s the endless “maybe tomorrow” that quietly steals years.
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